“In this respect, the contemporary theaters turned out to be corresponding for your favorites, because it is very convenient and easy for them to show off, as they like to say, their ‘chic coiffures’ or the ‘specially-tied-knot-of-their-cravat,’ or the daringly bared, what is called ‘Kupaitarian-part-of-their-body,’ and so on and so forth, while at the same time they can look at the new manifestations of the ‘fashions’ already actualized according to the up- to-date indications of those same candidates for ‘Hasnamuss-individuals.’

“To get a clear picture of what these contemporary ‘actors’ do during their ‘swaggerings’ in these theaters, you must first be told about yet another exceedingly strange ‘illness’ existing there under the name of ‘dramatizacring’; the predisposition to which illness arises in the presences of certain of them thanks only to the carelessness of what are called their ‘midwives.’

“This criminal carelessness on the part of their midwives is that in most instances, before doing her job, she calls on the way at the houses of her other clients and drinks there rather more than usual of the ‘wine’ offered her, so that while she is doing her job she unconsciously makes exclamations, fixed in the process of the ordinary existence of your favorites, like the ‘exorcism’ of what are called their ‘magicians,’ and at the moment of, as they say, ‘its-appearance-in-God’s-world,’ the new unfortunate being first imbibes the words of this maleficent exorcism:

“And this exorcism consists of the following words: ‘Eh, you, what a mess you’ve made!’

“Well, my boy, thanks to that criminal carelessness on the part of the midwife, the unfortunate newly appeared being acquires in his presence just that predisposition to the mentioned strange illness.

“If such a three-brained being there who has acquired at his first appearance the said predisposition to the illness of dramatizacring should by the time he reaches the age of a responsible being, know how to write and should wish to write something, then he suddenly gets this strange illness and begins wiseacring on paper, or, as it is said there, ‘composing’ various what are called ‘dramas.’