Hamolinadir at the Rostrum
Hamolinadir’s speech about “the instability” of human reason is one of the great speeches of The Tales. It read as follows:
“My friend, Hamolinadir, also had to report about some topic and therefore drew a lot; and it fell to him to speak fifth.
“The reporters who preceded him either reported upon new ‘theories’ they had invented or they criticized theories already existing and known to everybody.
“At last came the turn of this sympathetic Assyrian.
“He ascended what is called the ‘rostrum,’ and as he did so some attendants hung up a notice above it indicating on which subject the given reporter would speak.
“It was the custom at that time to do so.
“The notice announced that the reporter had taken as the theme of his report the ‘Instability-of-Human-Reason.’
“Thereupon, this terrestrial friend of mine first expatiated on the kind of structure which, in his opinion, the human ‘head-brain’ has, and in which cases and in what manner various impressions are perceived by the other brains of man, and how only after definite what is called ‘agreement’ between all the brains are the total results impressed on this head-brain.
“He spoke calmly at first, but the longer he spoke, the more agitated he became, until his voice rose to a shout, and shouting he began to criticize the Reason in man.
“And at the same time, he mercilessly criticized his own Reason.
“Still continuing to shout, he very logically and convincingly demonstrated the instability and fickleness of man’s Reason, and showed, in detail, how easy it is to prove and convince this Reason of anything you like.
“Although in the midst of the shouting of this terrestrial friend of mine, Hamolinadir, his sobbing could be heard, nevertheless, even while sobbing, he continued to shout. Further he said:
“‘To every man, and also of course to me, it’s quite easy to prove anything; all that is necessary to know is which shocks and which associations to arouse in the other human brains while one or other “truth” is being proved. It is very easily possible even to prove to man that our whole World and of course the people in it, are nothing but an illusion, and that the authenticity and reality of the World are only a “corn” and moreover the corn growing on the big toe of our left foot. Besides this corn, absolutely nothing exists in the World; everything only seems, and even then only to “psychopaths-squared.”’
“At this point in the speech of this sympathetic terrestrial three-brained being, an attendant offered him a bowl of water, and after he had eagerly drunk the water, he continued to speak, but now more calmly.
“He said further:
“‘Take myself as an example: I am not an ordinary learned man. I am known by all Babylon and by people of many other towns as an exceedingly learned and wise man.
“‘I finished the course of study higher than which has never yet existed on the Earth, and which it is almost impossible will ever exist again.
“‘But what then has this highest development given to my Reason in respect of that question which, already during one or two years, is driving all Babylonians insane?
“‘This Reason of mine which has received the highest development, has given me during this general dementia concerning the question of the soul nothing else but “fiveFridays-a-week.”
“‘During this time, I have very attentively and seriously followed all the old and new theories about the “soul” and there is not a single theory with the author of which I do not inwardly agree, since all of them are very logically and plausibly expounded, and such Reason as I have cannot but agree with their logic and plausibility.
“‘During this time I have even myself written a very
lengthy work on this “question-of-the-beyond”; and many of those present here have surely become acquainted with my logical mentation and most probably there is not one of you here who does not envy this logical mentation of mine.
“‘Yet at the same time I now honestly declare to you all, that concerning this “question-of-the-beyond” I myself, with the whole of the knowledge that has been accumulated in me, am neither more nor less than just an “idiotcubed.”
“‘There is now proceeding among us in the city of Babylon the general public “building-of-a-tower” by means of which to ascend to “Heaven” and there to see with our own eyes what goes on there.
“‘This tower is being built of bricks which outwardly all look alike, but which are made of quite different materials.
“‘Among these bricks are bricks of iron and wood and also of “dough” and even of “eider down.”
“‘Well then, at the present time, a stupendously enormous tower is being built of such bricks right in the center of Babylon, and every more or less conscious person must bear in mind that sooner or later this tower will certainly fall and crush not only all the people of Babylon, but also everything else that is there.
“‘As I personally still wish to live and have no desire to be crushed by this Babylonian tower, I shall therefore now immediately go away from here, and all of you, do as you please.’
“He uttered these last words while leaving, and ran off and since that time, I never saw that sympathetic Assyrian again.
“He said further:
“‘Take myself as an example: I am not an ordinary learned man. I am known by all Babylon and by people of many other towns as an exceedingly learned and wise man.
“‘I finished the course of study higher than which has never yet existed on the Earth, and which it is almost impossible will ever exist again.
“‘But what then has this highest development given to my Reason in respect of that question which, already during one or two years, is driving all Babylonians insane?
“‘This Reason of mine which has received the highest development, has given me during this general dementia concerning the question of the soul nothing else but “fiveFridays-a-week.”
“‘During this time, I have very attentively and seriously followed all the old and new theories about the “soul” and there is not a single theory with the author of which I do not inwardly agree, since all of them are very logically and plausibly expounded, and such Reason as I have cannot but agree with their logic and plausibility.
“‘During this time I have even myself written a very lengthy work on this “question-of-the-beyond”; and many of those present here have surely become acquainted with my logical mentation and most probably there is not one of you here who does not envy this logical mentation of mine.
“‘Yet at the same time I now honestly declare to you all, that concerning this “question-of-the-beyond” I myself, with the whole of the knowledge that has been accumulated in me, am neither more nor less than just an “idiot-cubed.”
“‘There is now proceeding among us in the city of Babylon the general public “building-of-a-tower” by means of which to ascend to “Heaven” and there to see with our own eyes what goes on there.
“‘This tower is being built of bricks which outwardly all look alike, but which are made of quite different materials.
“‘Among these bricks are bricks of iron and wood and also of “dough” and even of “eider down.”
“‘Well then, at the present time, a stupendously enormous tower is being built of such bricks right in the center of Babylon, and every more or less conscious person must bear in mind that sooner or later this tower will certainly fall and crush not only all the people of Babylon, but also everything else that is there.
“‘As I personally still wish to live and have no desire to be crushed by this Babylonian tower, I shall therefore now immediately go away from here, and all of you, do as you please.’
“He uttered these last words while leaving, and ran off and since that time, I never saw that sympathetic Assyrian again.