The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth

“The beings of all other forms of that planet also manifest themselves by voice, but at a definite time. For instance, the cock cries at midnight, an ape in the morning when it is hungry, and so on, but donkeys there bray whenever it enters their heads to do so, and in consequence you may hear the voice of that silly being there at any time of the day or night.

“So, my boy, it was established there in the city Gob that as soon as the sound of the voice of the donkey was heard, all who heard it had to flop down immediately and offer up prayers to their god and to their revered idols and, I must add, these donkeys usually have a very loud voice by nature and their voices carry a long way.

“Well, then, as we walked along the streets of the city Gob and saw the citizens flopping down at the braying of every donkey, we had to flop down likewise so as not to be distinguished from the others; and it was just this comical custom, I see now, that tickled our old Ahoon so much.

“You noticed, my dear Hassein, with what venomous satisfaction our old man reminded me, after so many centuries, of that comical situation of mine.”

Having said this, Beelzebub, smiling, went on with the tale he had begun.

“It is needless to say,” he continued, “that there also, in this second center of culture of the three-brained beings of your planet, breeding there on the continent of Ashhark, the destruction of beings of other forms for Sacrificial-Offerings entirely ceased; and, if isolated instances occurred, the beings of that group themselves settled accounts with the offenders without compunction.