The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth

“But the most peculiar of all was the custom of paying attention to the voices of beings of various forms.

“As soon as they heard the voice of a being of any form, they immediately began to praise the names of their gods and to await their blessing.

“It might be the crowing of a cock, the barking of a dog, the mewing of a cat, the squealing of an ape, or so on. . . . It would always startle them.

“Here it is interesting to notice that for some reason or other they would always on these occasions raise their heads and look upwards, even though, according to the teaching of their religion, their god and his assistants were supposed to exist on the same level as themselves, and not where they directed their eyes and prayers.

“It was extremely interesting at these moments to watch their faces.”

“Pardon me, your Right Reverence,” interrupted at that moment Beelzebub’s old devoted servant Ahoon, who had also been listening with great interest to his tales.

“Do you remember, your Right Reverence, how many times in that same city Gob we ourselves had to flop down in the streets during the cries of beings of different forms?”

To this remark, Beelzebub said:

“Certainly I remember, dear Ahoon. How could I forget such comical impressions?

“You must know,” he then continued, turning to Hassein again, “that the beings of the planet Earth are inconceivably proud and touchy. If someone does not share their views or agree to do as they do, or criticizes their manifestations, they are, oh, very indignant and offended.

“If one had the power, he would order whoever dared not to do as he did, or who criticized his conduct, to be shut up in the kind of room which is usually infested by innumerable what are called ‘rats’ and ‘lice.’