Beelzebub’s Tales About His Second Descent on to the Planet Earth

“ ‘And we descended,’ His Conformity continued, ‘because although we had then taken every possible measure and had assured everybody that everything would be quite all right, we ourselves were nevertheless not categorically convinced that no unexpectedness might occur there unforeseen.

“ ‘Our apprehensions were justified, although, “Thanks-to-Chance,” not in a serious form, that is to say, on a general cosmic scale, since this new catastrophe affected only the planet Earth itself.

“ ‘This second catastrophe to the planet Earth,’ continued His Conformity, ‘occurred owing to the following:

“ ‘When during the first disaster two considerable fragments had been separated from this planet, then for certain reasons, the what is called “center-of-gravity” of the whole of its presence had no time to shift immediately into a corresponding new place, with the result that right until the second catastrophe, this planet had existed with its “center-of-gravity” in a wrong position, owing to which its motion during that time was not “proportionately-harmonious” and there often occurred both within and upon it various commotions and considerable displacements.

“ ‘But it was recently, when the center-of-gravity of the planet finally shifted to its true center, that the said second catastrophe occurred.

“ ‘But now,’ added His Conformity with a shade of self-satisfaction, ‘the existence of this planet will be quite normal in respect of the common-cosmic harmony.

“ ‘This second catastrophe to the planet Earth has finally quite pacified and convinced us also that a catastrophe
on a great scale cannot again occur on account of this planet.