The Arch-preposterous

“This I had to do on account of the same sins of my youth. And I was obliged to do so, because when I was pardoned by HIS UNI-BEING ENDLESSNESS and allowed to return to my native land, certain Sacred Individuals decided to demand of me, for any eventuality, to have performed over my essence this sacred process in order that I might not manifest myself as in the days of my youth, and that the same might not thereby occur again in the Reason of most individuals dwelling here at the center of the Great Universe.

“You probably do not know yet what the Sacred-Aliamizoornakalu over an essence means? I shall later explain it to you in detail but meanwhile I shall simply use the words of our dear Mullah Nassr Eddin who explains this process as ‘giving-one’s-word-of-honor-not-to-poke-one’s-nose-into-the-affairs-of-the-authorities.’

“In short, when I presented myself to His All-Quarters-Maintainer, he deigned to ask me, among other things, whether I had taken with me all the being-productions which had interested me and which I had collected from various planets of that solar system where I existed during my exile.

“I replied that I had taken almost everything, except those cumbersome apparatuses which my friend Gornahoor Harharkh had constructed for me on the planet Mars.

“He at once promised to give orders that everything I should indicate should be taken at the first opportunity on the next trip of the space-ship Omnipresent.

“That is why, my boy, I hope that everything necessary will be brought to our planet Karatas so that, when we return there, you will be able to see it all with your own eyes, and I shall be able to explain everything in detail, practically.

“And meanwhile, during our traveling here on the space-ship Karnak, I shall, as I have already promised you, tell you in their order about my descents there to your planet and also about the causes of what is called my ‘appearances-there-in-person.’ ”