As a result of this conviction of mine which as yet doubtlessly seems to you the fruit of the fantasies of an afflicted mind, I cannot now, as you yourself see, disregard this second consciousness and, compelled by my essence, am obliged to construct the general exposition even of this first chapter of my writings, namely, the chapter which should be the preface for everything further, calculating that it should reach and, in the manner required for my aim, “ruffle” the perceptions accumulated in both these consciousnesses of yours.
Continuing my expositions with this calculation, I must first of all inform your fictitious consciousness that, thanks to three definite peculiar data which were crystallized in my entirety during various periods of my preparatory age, I am really unique in respect of the so to say “muddling and befuddling” of all the notions and convictions supposedly firmly fixed in the entirety of people with whom I come in contact.
Tut! Tut! Tut! . . . I already feel that in your “false”—but according to you “real”—consciousness, there are beginning to be agitated, like “blinded flies,” all the chief data transmitted to you by heredity from your uncle and mother, the totality of which data, always and in everything, at least engenders in you the impulse—nevertheless extremely good—of curiosity, as in the given case, to find out as quickly as possible why I, that is to say, a novice at writing, whose name has not even once been mentioned in the newspapers, have suddenly become so unique.
Never mind! I personally am very pleased with the arising of this curiosity even though only in your “false” consciousness, as I already know from experience that this impulse unworthy of man can sometimes even pass from this consciousness into one’s nature and become a worthy impulse—the impulse of the desire for knowledge, which, in its turn, assists the better perception and even the closer understanding of the essence of any object on which, as it sometimes happens, the attention of a contemporary man might be concentrated, and therefore I am even willing, with pleasure, to satisfy this curiosity which has arisen in you at the present moment.
And now, my dear, as yet only candidate for my, so to say, future “voluntary-slaves,” listen attentively and try your hardest without letting any thing escape you, to transubstantiate in your common presence the information concerning the arising of the original cause and also of those two events whose effects on the whole of me, having become by the Will of Fate, as contemporary scientists and pious pastors would say, “vivifying,” served as factors for the accomplished crystallization in my common presence, of just those specific data on account of which, it may be said, firstly, that I am now an “exceptional-monster” among the many millions of animals similar to me, and secondly, that since in the present period of my existence I must become a professional writer, I am compelled to employ this new profession of mine, at whatever cost, as our esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin has expressed it, to “tangle-and-entangle” all your, as you call them, “images” and “notions” you have until now acquired, which though they are your own attainments, are nevertheless, even in your frank opinion, “very-suspicious.”
And so, my dear and precious future “voluntary-slave.”